She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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