Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
