She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
