And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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