I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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