True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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