the day after is always just damage control
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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