I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
