he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
