p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
