Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
