if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
