I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
