it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
