I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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