All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
