Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
