We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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