I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
