He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
