This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
