It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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