what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
