I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
