Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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