He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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