Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You need a sexual gate keeper
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
