I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize