we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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