Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
do herpes really smell.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
