I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
