Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
