I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So. Much. Porn.
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