just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
