so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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