i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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