I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
