apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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