I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I checked into jail on foursquare
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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