she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
