dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
