the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
