All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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