We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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