I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
