Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
