he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize