have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
