thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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