i can't believe i had my finger in that
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
