I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
