You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
