omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize