I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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