You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
