Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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