would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
