Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
