There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
