Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
