I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize